The Second Phase

Roles and Relationships

Denise — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 08:33:40 GMT

I've decided that the second phase of life (baby boomers stage) can be very weird at times. Last week I was feeling down because my mom was headed back to Florida and she wasn't doing well health wise. I did not want her to leave but knew that I had to let her go. Now I am facing my daughter leaving again in a few days (she's headed back to college) and I'm feeling that same sense of sadness.

Until now, I have never been so acutely aware of both roles at the same time. We're the child for many years and then we become adults and move into the role of the parent when we have children. And we tend to feel the role that is in the forefront at the time; the child when we're younger; the parent when we're older. I know this is a normal progression of the aging process but it feels weird to be both parent and child at the same time.

Being the person that I am though, I'll let myself feel the sadness and then I will focus on the upside of both situations. I'll thank God that I still have my mom whether she's in Florida or not. We are able to talk on the phone, email and share pictures through our family page. I'll also thank God that my daughter has the opportunity to attend a great college, experience the different cultures that city life offers and that she can be home within a matter of hours. And I'll continue to be in awe of the transformations, role reversals and other changes that occur as I go through the second phase.

A New You, Is It Possible?

Denise — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 18:30:45 GMT

Is it possible to recreate yourself after being who you are for so long? I get little glimpses of myself as a new person now and again, where I have a new personality trait or I completely change my appearance. My first reaction is usually, why would I want to change who I am. And then the second is why not. I love the idea that we can transform ourselves if we so choose to. Now that is not to say that I believe we can change the essence of who we are. Some traits are permanent, like your temperament for example. What I'm talking about are your habits, attitude, appearance, career, etc.

The people who are closest to me may say that I'm still the same person they have always known. My appearance hasn't changed all that much. My hair is shorter now, I traded in the glasses for contacts, and I have a few more wrinkles. But they would still recognize me on the street if they hadn't seen me in a year. They would probably tell you that I still have a soft spot for the underdogs of the world, and that I am very opinionated and head strong. They might also agree that while I have decided to change careers, I will ultimately end up doing something that involves helping others. However I would have to argue that a transformation has taken place.

Twelve years of marriage to a man who was controlling, violent and selfish had squashed the outgoing, fearless person that I had once been. Ultimately I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be that unhappy, insecure, scared person that I had become. Visions of a happier, healthier person began to invade my thoughts. Then one day I finally realized that I had the right to be who I wanted to be. So I decided it was time to recreate myself and rebuild my life. I divorced my husband and set out on a road of self-discovery. Once I got out of that relationship, a more confident and stronger woman emerged. The fearless explorer of my youth had returned and so had the dreamer.

Maybe age has something to do with it but I now follow my own heart, despite what others may think and feel. I know who I am and I have given myself permission to continue to recreate myself as often as I deem necessary. We only get one opportunity to go through this life and I am on a mission to experience as much joy, peace, and happiness as possible. So I'll change careers, seek out new friends, dye my hair flaming red, or anything else that I decide will add more quality to my life. Can we recreate ourselves after being who we've been for so long? I say yes, absolutely, positively yes!

A Daughter's Wish

Denise — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 08:37:15 GMT

My mom left yesterday to go back to Florida after a 12 day vacation here in Maine. And I did the same thing this time that I always do, I put on my brave girl face, hugged and kissed her goodbye and pretended that I was fine with her leaving. This visit was different from previous ones though. When she arrived, she was very ill. So ill that it scared me and I called my brother and sister with the intention of devising a plan that would convince her to stay. But my mother is a lot like me, a stubborn ass, who is going to do what she wants to do despite what others think.

When she first moved away I was incredibly sad but I put on a happy-faced front so that she would feel okay to follow her heart. My brother and sister also did likewise. And for the most part, we've been able to deal with her being so far away. But as time goes on, it gets harder and harder to pretend that we're good with it. We know that she's getting older and with that comes failing health and we struggle with the thought of her being alone and so far away with no family around. She is near retirement and we'd love to see her spend her summers here in Maine and winters in Florida (if she feels the need to stay there). But there's that "powdered butt syndrome" that makes it difficult for parents to take advice from their children. My mom informed me this week that she is not yet incapacitated nor incompetent so we need to let her continue to make her own decisions. I know she's right. But I think my siblings and I struggle with the notion that time is slipping away and with the one year anniversary of our dad's passing just around the corner, we are painfully aware of the reality of losing a parent.

I struggle when things are outside of my control and this is a hard one for me. But as much as I love my mom and want her to come back home, I respect her desire and determination to do what she feels is best for her. So it is with my brave girl front that I will support any decision she makes while secretly wishing for her to come back home.

Career Opportunities: They Are Out There!

Denise — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 07:37:40 GMT

Well it finally feels like summer has returned to the Northeast. It hasn't rained for two days now and the temperature has climbed back into the 80's. Yeah!! Looks like I'll be visiting my vacation spot in the backyard today after I finish my chores and errands.

For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I have been trying to figure out what my next career move will be. Well I have a few updates for you. In the past week I have received two calls from people with job offers that I might be interested in (it helps to put the word out that you're available for hire). Interestingly, one of the positions involves working directly with children and the other involves working with the parents. I'm leaning towards working with parents. It's within the scope of my field and I would still be able to help children only from a different perspective.

I also landed a small writing project that I hope will turn into a long term project and I am building a website that should be ready for release by the end of the month. It's both amazing and exciting to see what can happen when you dare to take chances. I'm really not content to just maintain the status quo anymore. So what if others can't relate to what I'm doing. They don't have to. I don't live to please others anymore. How liberating!!! And fortunately, I have a very supportive partner.

What are you still yearning to do? What are you waiting for? Take a chance and see what happens. You may be quite surprised!

Where's the Summer Gone?

Denise — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:14:58 GMT

My gosh, can you believe we're in August already! I don't know where the summer has gone. Before you know it fall will be here and then winter right on it's heels. Brrrr! Even the thought of it gives me the chills! As I stated in a previous post, the thought of having to deal with the rising heating costs this winter has cast a shadow over my summer. Andy and I have done our research though and have decided to install a wood stove to help combat the cost of oil. Pellet stoves seem to be a popular choice among some of our friends but with 75 acres of woods behind us, it was a no-brainer.

I have this tendency to reflect back on a season as it passes to evaluate what I accomplished and to assess what I still need to do. And I find myself doing that already (must be due to the chilly weather we've had lately). I didn't get to kayak as much as I like to. July was very rainy. My overall exercises has fallen off some too. My walking partner has been away on vacation so I haven't been to the walking trail much. I keep telling myself to go get on the treadmill but I have such a hard time being inside in the summer unless I'm working on something. So I guess my plan for entering fall is to get back on track with my exercising. I find the older I get, the harder it is to drop a few pounds and firm things up again.

I'm also thinking that my next job has become the priority. I still haven't figured out what it is I want to do but I have discovered that I miss working with kids....go figure. School is just around the corner so I've been perusing the school ads. I guess I can continue to do what I know until I figure what it is I want to do next. Writing still appeals to me so I may start looking in the area of journalism. Maybe a few more classes under my belt and I'll be good to go.

Overall I think it's been a good summer so far. I made it to two concerts, Pearl Jam and Kenny Chesney. And the family has gone camping twice and Andy and I spent a week away ourselves. My mom is coming home next week and our family reunion is that weekend. It's always such a great time, a perfect end to summer. Then my daughter comes home from college for a few weeks (the highlight of my summer)!

So I guess until fall does arrive, I'll continue to enjoy the long warm days, work on my blogs, update my resume and continue my job search, and squeeze one more novel in. Any suggestions? I still have a few weeks left before I have to put my shorts and sandals away. So I'm off to take a walk through the neighborhood and then I'm going to sit on the deck with an iced tea and fresh salad and enjoy the feel of the sunshine on my face.

Summer Time Blues

Denise — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 09:34:39 GMT

Summer is my favorite season and when you live in the Northeast, it's a short season. I'm starting to feel somewhat robbed of the time due to my constant thoughts about fuel and energy prices for this coming winter. Lately I find myself thinking about alternative heat sources (while the temperature is 85), wind power, solar power, and other such ideas when I'd really rather be thinking about which beach I'd like to go to.

I haven't had much time to read for the sheer enjoyment of it due to work, school and kids and I had been looking forward to reading a few novels this summer. Instead, I find myself reading books on wind power and passive solar homes. I've made more trips to the books store than to the beach this summer! And all conversations about vacation destinations become discussion about the rising cost of airfare (I don't know about you but I'm not paying for a little bag of peanuts on top of the already skyrocketing ticket price), gas, and food. So there is now a fire pit in the yard for evening campfires, the pool has been set up, and tiki torches have been strategically placed to promote a vacation-like atmosphere in our own yard. This is not the summer I had envisioned.

The good news is we own over 70 acres of forest and will be selling some firewood to help offset the cost of oil this winter. We will also be donating some wood to the town to help some of the elderly folks in the area. And all of my summer reading has me convinced that our next house should be a passive solar design. I guess overall, the current energy crisis hasn't totally ruined my summer. It may actually serve to save me lots of money down the road. Excuse me now, while I slip into my bathing suit, grab a cocktail and the latest copy of the Plenty magazine, and head outside to my backyard vacation spot. It is summertime here in vacationland!

Happy Independence Day

Denise — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:18:17 GMT

Well it sure has been a busy week. I spent two days down in Massachusetts to attend a concert with a girlfriend. We saw Pearl Jam at the Comcast Center in Mansfield. What a crowd and what a show. I'm not a huge Pearl Jam fan but I am an Eddie Vedder fan (lead singer). I find live entertainment to be the best.

We're now getting ready to take the family up North camping for the rest of the week. I spent most of the day yesterday cooking food and getting us packed. The kids are excited. We ride four wheelers, kayak, fish, swim, cook somemores over the campfire and eat lots and lots of food. A group of our friends are going with us so it should be a great time. We have a huge cookout scheduled for tomorrow, the 4th of July. Camp will be all decked out for the occasion.

I'll be back on track next week with some new articles. So far, the articles on health and career change have gotten the most attention so I may focus on those topics some more.

I hope you all have plans to do something special to celebrate Independence Day. It's not everywhere that people have the freedoms that we do. So take a moment tomorrow to be grateful for all that you have and the struggles that were fought for you to have it.

Happy 4th of July!

Retirement: Are You Prepared?

Denise — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:53:02 GMT

If you're like me and most of the other baby boomers out there, the word "retirement" has probably crossed your mind by now. The question then is, "Are you prepared?" I can tell you that my answer is a resounding "NO! Not even close!" And that scares me. The problem is that I'm 43 with my youngest child just finishing her first year at a very expensive college and I have only recently dug my way out of the financial pits of hell caused by my divorce 6 years ago. I often times wonder if it's too late for me to prepare for retirement. I'm just not sure that there's enough time left to get enough money saved. The good news is that I'm entering the second phase of my life with a terrific partner so I won't be going it alone.

But where do we start? I have a small mutual fund that, with the exception of this year, has been a good producer overall. And I have some money sitting in retirement account from an old company I used to work for. But there's not enough money in these two accounts to support us for more than 3 months! I've been doing some research on IRA's and I believe at this point that a Roth is the best option but I'm not sure who to go with; my local bank, T Rowe Price or some other company. My partner doesn't have any money put aside for retirement however he owns close to a million dollars in real estate. My only concern with real estate is that you can't always move it when you want to. You're at the mercy of the market at times. We're feeling that pinch right now!

I have found some good information at MSN for retirement planning. Here you'll find savings calculators, tips on debt management, money rules to live by, and so much more. I'll continue to do my research but in the meantime, I think I'll increase my monthly contributions to my mutual fund, roll the old retirement account into a Roth IRA and surf the Yellow Pages for a financial adviser. Time is no longer on my side!

My Stategy for a Fulfilling and Productive Week

Denise — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:09:37 GMT

Well here it is, Monday again. The start to a new week. I'm feeling much better than I did last Friday. I took my own advice and had a great dinner with a few glasses of my favorite wine (Villa Maria, Sauvignon Blanc), read a book while sitting out in the beautiful sunshine and enjoyed the company of my boyfriends children this weekend (I still miss having my own kids at home). I'm rested and back on top of the world again.

I came across this quote yesterday while looking for a topic for a post on my other blog, "An Unfailing Success Plan: At each day's end write down the six most important things to do tomorrow; number them in order of importance, and then do them." ~Anonymous And that's exactly how I started my Monday. Last night I put my list together and I've been a ball of fire today! I have always found that having a to-do list helps keep me focused and on track and it helps me to get past those things that always seem to get in the way and slow me down. I have to confess that I had not been good about making my lists lately and it shows. My productivity today has far exceeded the nuisances of last week.

If you are not one to make to-do lists, I highly recommend it. I find as I get older, my memory is getting worse so lists help alot with that. Also, with time being such a hot commodity these days, it helps me to make better use of the day. I'd love to hear what strategies you use to stay focused and on track or even how you pick yourself up when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders.

Wishing you a fulfilling and productive week! Happy Monday!

Who Moved My Cheese?

Denise — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:12:50 GMT

How many of you out there are saying "Thank God it's Friday!" Wow, has it been a week! Just when I think I have the world by the tail, I get the wind knocked out of my sails. I guess I shouldn't complain. Tough times also seem to serve as a motivator for me to change something. And that's where I am this Friday morning. Ready to take on the world if necessary to get things back on track.

It never ceases to amaze me how quickly things can turn around. I had been feeling like I was on top of things and in complete control of my life. Then in one swift turn, I'm wondering what the hell happened. Ever have those kind of moments yourself. Well without going into a lot of detail, I'll just tell you that I've been having some financial concerns this week. The ex-husband has not been able to help our daughter with any of her tuition costs ($10,000 for the current semester), which leaves it on my shoulders to take care of. The last college I attended feels that I owe them $5300 for two weeks of classes (they say I withdraw too late to receive a refund) so there's another financial battle. And I invested a large sum of money into my boyfriend's new career and that isn't going so well at the moment. And I'm asking myself, where's the exit ramp because I want to get off this highway!

Ok, enough of the whining. The truth is, while these things bring me down for a bit, they ultimately serve to grow me and help me to keep my focus squarely on my priorities. I know that all things are temporary and this is just a bump in the road. The daughter's tuition will get paid because I am a "Can Do" kind of person and the situation with Cal State is undoubtedly an error and will be resolved fairly. As far as the boyfriend's new career, I wouldn't have invested in it if I wasn't confident in his ability to make it work (ugh, another lesson in patience).

So if you've had a week like mine, keep your chin up. Friday is here. Take the weekend to treat yourself kindly. Have a nice dinner this evening with a glass (or two) of your favorite wine. Take a long walk in the park, along the beach, in the woods or whatever is close to you this weekend. Sneak off to a quiet spot with a great book. Know that tomorrow is a new day. We may have some overcast days but the sun ALWAYS returns. I leave you with this quote:

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see.
Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"

~ Dr. Seuss

Staying Healthy and Active

Denise — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 08:40:29 GMT

I find that as I get older, I move a bit slower, my muscles ache more easily and my energy level is not what it used to be. Since I have no plans of slowing down once I reach retirement, I try to make an effort to get some exercise on a regular basis. As I've stated in an earlier post, I enjoy kayaking. It's a great form of exercise that allows me to take in the beauty of some of Maine's best scenery (can't be beat!). What activities do you enjoy that help you stay healthy and active?

I came across an article written by Gordon Black in which he listed 5 activities that he recommended for baby boomers. They are:

1. Biking. It's been many years since I've rode a bike but I have been seriously thinking about taking it back up.

2. Swimming. The beauty of this activity is that it can be done outside in the summer time and inside (at a facility) in the winter time. Great for year round exercise and easy on the joints.

3. Yoga. I recently finished a yoga class and found that within just a few sessions, my flexibility had increased as well as my balance.

4. Tai Chi. I'm not familiar with this activity. Anyone else had experience with tai chi?

5. Mall Walking. I'm fortunate enough to live in an area that has a rail trail that is used for walking, running, biking, or skating. My girlfriend and I try to get there several times a week and walk 4-6 miles each time. I like the idea of mall walking for when the weather is bad.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gordon_Black

"Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity." ~ John F. Kennedy

In Pursuit of Goals

Denise — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:54:07 GMT

I find as I get older, I am more methodical in my pursuit of things. I am no longer comfortable to just be carried along by the wind and land where I may. The issue of time seems to have finally entered the equation. However I see that as a positive thing. It has helped me to become more deliberate in the pursuit of goals. I now write my goals down, along with my reasons for wanting to reach the goal. I find it gives me something to look back on if things get tough and it serves to remind me why I am doing what I'm doing.

While I have always considered myself a lifelong learner, I am more apt to educate myself on a topic I am not familiar with if I feel it will help me to reach a goal faster. In the past two months I have read nearly 12 books on the topic of Internet businesses because this is what I would like to be doing. I'd like to believe that Jim Rohn was correct when he said "Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune." Just to sure, I'm a student of both. That's been one of the benefits of having the kids grown; I have more time to pursue other things. And reading has become a passion again.

A few months back I stumbled across an interesting website, www.morningcoach.com. The basic premise of the website is to assist people in reaching goals. I use their goals section and the dream board to help me stay focused on my goals. A dream board is a set of pictures that you choose that depicts how you envision yourself once you've reached your goal. I print a copy off and hang it on the wall in my office. It's quite a motivator.

I'm curious to know if you too have changed the way you pursue goals. Have you employed some new strategies? Do you have fewer goals? How has getting older altered your motivation? My idea for this blog is for it to be a community forum where we share our experiences as we go through the second phase of our life. Don't be shy. I'd love to hear your story!

Challenge Yourself

Denise — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 07:44:16 GMT

One of the great benefits of getting older, is that we become wiser and we are less concerned about what others think. These two changes really allow us to step outside of the box and make decisions that we might not have been willing to make when we were younger. I have made some very bold decisions in the past year and I have actually taken delight in watching the reactions of others when they learn of my decisions. What appears to be very scary to others is actually quite liberating to me. I've come to learn that the sky does not fall when I make a bold move. Quite the contrary actually. I've seen the quality of my life greatly improve with some changes that I've made in the second phase of my life.

What decisions have you been putting off? What's holding you back? Explore all of your options and consider your worst case scenario. Then challenge yourself to take one step towards making that change. Are you still searching for the love of your life? If you aren't getting out there and dating, put your profile up on one of the online dating services. Most of them are free and you have complete control over who you communicate with. Are you contemplating retirement? If you haven't already met with a financial planner, do it today. Know where you are and what you still need to do to be prepared for retirement. Want to start up a business from home? Attend a seminar on home-based businesses, or network with others who have already done it. Now is the time to be bold and confident. You have lots of experience behind you. That's one of your fringe benefits of 40-65 years of living life. The key here is to decide on a step to take, and then TAKE that step. Challenge yourself to move in a direction you have not moved in before. A extraordinary life still awaits you.

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow." ~ Doug Firebaugh

Making a Change

Denise — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:23:43 GMT

As we move through life we are often faced with decisions that will require us to make a change. It might be changing jobs, moving to a new area, deciding when to retire, etc. The problem is that most people fear change. So much so that they will stay stuck in dead-end situations just to avoid having to make the change. I have a secret to share with you about fear. Fear that is faced head on, disappears.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do." I have come to learn that the things that I fear rarely ever come to pass. And the results of pushing through my fears are generally greater than I had anticipate. It's like I get rewarded for taking the challenge on. Here are some examples of times that I faced fear head on and the outcomes:

I returned to college at the age of 35 while working full-time, raising a child, and going through a hellish divorce (what was I thinking!). The outcome: I graduated summa cum laude 5 years later. The feeling of success was intoxicating and lasted for several weeks.
I moved an hour away from my family, friends, and community to be with the man I love at the age of 42. The outcome: I live within minutes of shopping, dining, and entertainment. We've built a beautiful new home. I have several new friends. And my commute went from an hour to 10 minutes.
I have left the field of speech pathology to explore new career options. The outcome: This one is still in the works. But so far, I have starting blogging, which I absolutely love! And I am looking into a business that will allow me to set my own hours and work from home. I have complete faith that this will work out well for me.

What fears are holding you back today? I can tell you that the only thing that is permanent is death. So unless the change you're facing has the potential for a deadly outcome (which is highly unlikely), I say push through the fear and reap the rewards. You only get one chance to go through life. Take the bull by the horns and live an extraordinary life.

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Staying Healthy

Denise — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 16:55:01 GMT

One of the things that I'm looking forward to as I get older is having more time to do the things that I enjoy. And to ensure that I will be able to do the things I want, I have made some changes in my life. First of all, I made a conscious effort to drink more water. Drinking 8 glasses of water a day will:

Aid in digestion
Improve your energy levels
Keep your skin healthy
Help you lose weight
Improve your physical and mental performance

In examining my eating habits, I discovered that I was not getting enough fruits and vegetables in my diet. To combat that I shop every couple of days rather than once a week so that I can always have fresh fruits and vegetables on hand. I find that I am more likely to include them in my diet when they are super fresh. A website that I like for finding great healthy recipes is www.foodnetwork.com. Look for Ellie's Eat-Well Plan.

Another area that I took a close look at was the amount of exercise I got each week. I knew I needed to step it up if I was going to be able to continue to kayak, hike, garden, and travel long into retirement. I know it can seem overwhelming to start an exercise routine at this point in life. But you'll be amazed at the benefits of incorporating exercise into your daily routine. I walk 4-6 miles several times a week with a friend. This has turned out to be a great way to get in shape while enjoying some social time as well. I have also enlisted the help of my partner in a nighttime routine where we both do some crunches, leg lifts, and other strengthening exercises before going to bed. We keep each other accountable and it's much more fun to do it with a partner. The benefits of exercising include:

Improved mood
Reduced risk of chronic diseases
Weight management
Strengthened heart and lungs
Better sleep
Improved sex life (better circulation, more energy)

We haven't worked this hard to retire and not be able to do the things we've been looking forward to because we didn't take care of our health along the way. There's no time like the present to take charge of your health. If you can't see yourself enjoying your later years, take an inventory of the areas you need to improve upon and start today.

"Good health and good sense are two of life's greatest blessings." ~Publilious Syrus (Roman author)

What Excites You?

Denise — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:16:15 GMT

Did you choose your career or did it choose you? Do you love what you do or would you rather be doing something else? If you're like most people, you have landed in your career as the result of some circumstances rather than a choice. This is how I ended up as a speech therapist.

At the age of 28 I decided that I no longer wanted a job, I wanted a career. So I made the decision to return to school. After some consideration, I decided I wanted to be a physical therapist and I applied. By some cruel act of fate, my high school could not find my records. I could not submit proof of having taken algebra and biology so I settled instead for speech therapy. Now it's not that I have regretted that decision. It has been a very rewarding career for 14 years. But I ended up in that field as a result of circumstances rather than choice. And I find myself asking the question, "What would I be today if I could be anything I wanted?" and the answer is not a speech therapist.

I've decided that I want to feel excited again about what I do every day. I want the challenges that a new career offers. And I want to look forward to Mondays again rather than dreading them. So I have taken inventory of the things that I enjoy doing in the hopes of discovering what I want do next. This what I came up with:

I love to write
I love to encourage and motivate others
I love working on the computer
And I love to travel

So here I am learning how to blog and I must say that while I am not earning living at, I haven't felt this excited about something in a long time. My next move will be to learn how I can earn a living by writing on the Internet.

So I ask you again, do you enjoy what you're doing or do you have a yearning to do something else? What excites you?

"Choices, not circumstances, determine your success." Anonymous

Midlife Career Change

Denise — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 10:08:00 GMT

If someone had told me that I would put in 9 years of college (full and part-time) and spend 14 years in a career and then give it all up in my forties, I would have said they were crazy. But here I am doing just that. You might be asking yourself what would cause a person to make such a decision. Well, several things have happened this past year that I believe have been the catalyst for this major life change.

My youngest left home for college (in another state!)
My father was killed at work at the age of 65
I moved to a new town with my significant other

So what do these things have to do with my decision to change careers? Well, for the first time in 25 years, I am no longer directly responsible for another person. You empty-nesters know what I'm talking about. I now have the opportunity to focus on me and what I want. (It took me 6 months to see the there was something positive in my youngest leaving home).

Secondly, my dad's passing was both devastating and unexpected. But what I took away from it was that we never know when it will be our last day. Therefore, I need to live life on purpose and with purpose. While I have no control over when I'll die, I do have a choice in how I'll live each day that I have.

Lastly, to pack up and leave my family, friends, and community to start life somewhere new was scary but also very liberating. It helped me to realize that life is whatever and wherever I choose it to be.

When asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answers ranged from being a teacher to a movie star. So far I have been a residential counselor, a developmental therapist, and a speech therapist (do you see a theme here). I'm now ready to move down the spectrum and try my hand at something new (look out Hollywood).

Life is short in the grand scheme of things. I have committed the first half of my life to my children. The second half now belongs to me. And I plan on taking full advantage of each and every day that I am given. That includes enjoying a new career!

Enjoy the day!

Side note: If you are contemplating a career change, I would encourage you to read 48 Days to the Work You Love and No More Mondays by Dan Miller. I have been told What Color Is Your Parachute is also a good book but I have not read it myself.

Welcome to The Second Phase

Denise — Thu, 29 May 2008 16:26:10 GMT

Welcome to all of you baby boomers out there and the rest of you coming down the road, here's my new blog! I've reached that pivotal point in life where I realize that the first half is gone and the second half is staring me hard in the face.  How do you know when you've reached the Second Phase? Well for me it was when the youngest child left home for college (leaving me with an empty nest) and I realized that for the first time in my adult life, I was no longer directly responsible for another person. That revelation was followed with six months of tears and then a "Yahoo!" It certainly makes you take stock of things.

The first phase of adulthood is moved along by raising children, establishing careers, paying the bills, and trying to live the American dream.   And if life has turned out at all like you had anticipated; the kids have become independent adults(or are getting close), you still like your job (or still have it), the house is paid/nearly paid for, and you consider your life a success. Now the wonderful thing about entering the second phase is that this time the circumstances are different. You now get to focus on YOU! I don't know about you, but I find the idea of that exhilarating!

These are some questions I've been asking myself:

What haven't I done yet that I've always wanted to do?

Do I want to stay in my current field?
Where do I want to retire?
How long does it take to fly to Italy?

I certainly don't have all of the answers yet but I'm excited about the possibilities. Join me as I make my way through the second half of life - The Second Phase. I'll share my experiences, my thoughts, and some humor. I welcome you to contribute to this blog with your own stories.

The other day a man asked me what I thought was the best time of life. "Why," I answered without a thought, "now." ~David Grayson